If I Feel Anger Then You Should Too
The importance of understanding another person's point of view in life is unequivocally one of the most useful skills a person can develop. Self-improvement takes change; change can be uncomfortable and bring a powerful feeling of needing to find comfort in any way possible. Understanding how our mind works in yourself and others will allow a person to be aware and persevere through the uncomfort with the understanding of a greater goal in mind.
One way to really understand others and ourselves is to understand how we strive for familiarity and if we do not receive it, we crate it necessary. This is mainly the topic of this article.
Our brains seem to deny ourselves the ability to accept anything in our lives that is not familiar to the way we feel. Our lives are based around our minds keeping a sense of familiarity to what we know. People seem to search out their level of dysfunction and if not found, they create it by provoking another person to respond in ways that are familiar. On a deep level of the mind, dysfunction breeds more dysfunction by attracting more of it into one's life and in extreme but very common instances, provoking anger in others to justify and validate personal anger from within.
When I talk about familiarity, an unaware person who has based their life around negativity and pain will feel the need to surround themselves with others of the same emotional pain to maintain a level of comfort. Many times that unaware person cannot get the kind of negative validation from someone who is not on their level so they must create it by provoking anger. This is the essence of the old cliché "They are just trying to bring you down to their level"; people with anger inside need people that are like minded to feel their anger is valid.
I have witnessed and experienced both, giving anger to bring someone else down and receiving anger and then responding with comforting anger to the aggressor. Not until I understood what was going on, was I able to become aware of it and stop the cycle.
It is much easier to find comfort and safety by passing blame or trying to make another person feel similar to our state of mind than admitting that it is ourselves that possesses the attributes that we hate.
I do not want to intentionally cause anyone pain.
This attitude or feelings of vindictiveness are not apparent in everyday life because of the subconscious nature of the ideas in our minds. Most people would not feel or express determination to hurt someone else on a conscious level; the opposite is actually true in most cases. This is a level of unawareness from parts of our life and mind that we are not actively in tuned with, causes a reaction strictly based on emotion. Most people would not be aware of this active intrusion on others due to the feeling of being victimized by the person the anger is directed towards. In other words, we feel justified that someone else causes our anger so it is rational to strike back.
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Terran Trosclair
